Legendary rat, G-Nibble, AKA Rattus Norvegicus, tells all in this exclusive RR interview. Born of a lowly rat couple down a dirty drainpipe in Guildford's notorious subterranean district, life was tough for Norvegicus. "It wasn't easy being white in a predominantly brown rat community.", claims the reckless rodent. "Both my sister, G-Naw, and I were albino white rats and came under a lot of harassment."
The break-through and road to fame was opened up when their aunt Sally, a rodent of dubious origin, became agent to G-Nibble & G-Naw. She landed them a gig as house-hold pets to a kindly boy of 10 who's mother just happened to be none other than the world-famous pet photographer, Jane Burton. Aunt Sally became something of a rat of ill repute after a dramatic episode in which she was snapped by the Papa-rat-zzi, bearing all in the Seedy Pack Rat Club. Her husband, uncle Walter Rat buried his head in shame, and left the rat race. He was last seen, totally rat-arsed in a gutter on the east side of Merrow. "I liked her", defends Norvegicus, "She really didn't give a rat's ring-piece what people thought, and without her I wouldn't be the rat that I am now."
Obviously pet life is infinitely more sumptuous than sewer life - the hours, the pay, all way better, and as for the food... just imagine, all the Ready Brek you can possibly eat! "But it wasn't all plain-sailing. The boy's mother kept us hard at it, earning our rat-ions with a heavy schedule of photo-shoots." At first it was fairly simple stuff, like just acting the part of a cute pet or maybe a lab rat on a laboratory set. But then Ms Burton got more ambitions with the photography, keeping them up all day, culminating in the iconic image that propelled Norvegicus to stardom.
This may come as something of a shock to some of you to find that only is he a white rat rather than a black rat as some may think, but the sunset behind him in the Rattus Norvegicus photo wasn't even real. "It was nothing more than a couple of sheets of plastic with a lamp behind", states Norvegicus. However, he speaks fondly of The Stranglers album that bears his name. "I love that album! Those guys sure know how to make decent music. Hangin Around - What a great track!" His one regret was... "Why the f*ck did they put me on the back of that album, and not the front?!"
So there you have it. Another fabulous insider scoop brought to you by our very own ratty reporter. Don't miss next week's exclusives 'The Guinea pig Guinea pig' and 'Capybara Conundrum'.